The piece below is taken from the above book that I updated during the enforced lockdown thanks to our little Chinese friends; my intention is to introduce selective chapters which will be downloaded every couple of days.


In a slightly alcoholic haze, I stumbled into Fubar, a favourite watering hole of mine, and sitting in the corner that is exclusively reserved for sociopaths and ex-pats in the terminal stages of sexual deviancy and depravity, were Adam and Jimmy McJimbo.

Jimmy McJimbo told his story.

He had been out for a session, and, as one does in Pattaya after a few drinks, decided to bar fine and take out a particularly pretty Bar Girl.

He got lucky.

Instead of retiring to a local hotel, this rather sexy lass had her own house in a district of Pattaya that is known as the dark side.

Barely sober, Jimmy McJimbo went to work and found that he was now in the inexhaustible clutches of every man’s dream – a rampant nymphomaniac.

Totally exhausted after some 2- or 3-minutes feverish exertion, Jimmy McJimbo made his rather feeble excuses and fell into a deep erotic sleep, dreaming of flocks, herds, shoals, and buckets’ full of nubile nymphomaniacs.


The morning sun was flickering and dancing through the bedroom blinds as a still pretty drunk Jimmy McJimbo awoke.

This girl really was a goer.

She ticked all the boxes and more.

His eyes were still closed in ecstasy as her tongue slid up and down his now wide awake wee Scottish manhood.

This was without any shadow of a doubt the best sex he had ever experienced.

The tongue lingered, tingled, titillated, teased.

‘I’ve brought you a cup of tea.” The voice said.

Jimmy McJimbo opened his eyes and standing in front of him with a cuppa was the girl.

His tiny Scottish brain suddenly clicked into gear – if the girl was standing by the bed, how could she possibly be ???????

He looked down and lying on the bed alongside him with a tongue like a giraffe was the girl’s Labrador puppy.

Jimmy McJimbo was appalled.

Yes, even Glaswegians have standards.

“Jimmy!” The girl screamed. “You perverted Scottish git; what are you doing with my baby Fido?”

Jimmy drank his tea in one gulp, got dressed and paid the girl 20 quid for the 2 minutes of exertion he had managed before falling asleep.

“HOW MUCH FOR THE DOG?” He said as he left the house, ducking and narrowly avoiding the flying cup and saucer.

Funny dog tongue.

How was it for you Jimmy?